Chronicles Of The Stupid Kind II:A Curious Incident Of The Dog At The Day Time

Well...continuing the tradition of warning my fellow Nincompoops of mistakes that might have disastrous consequences....

I had a dog(Hence the name of the blog).. A female pomerian(I know that by now many dog lovers would hav started shaking their heads).
To make it more clear, accordin to most people Pomerians are possibly the most irritating breed of dogs.. and female pomerians are worst still..
They just bark, bark and bark. then they get tired, eat , rest and start barking again.
We had just bought her. As you all know I was probably the most adventurous and curious kid since Calvin, I used to implement things learnt from reliable sources like Mithun movies into real life(With some not so happy endings).
So it was one fine day(my birthday) that I decided to test the famous "Battissi" phrase.
I forced open my dogs mouth and started counting(to check wether it actually had 32 ). Now Not many people know this but a dogs mouth isnt exactly the most illuminated place on earth(or good smelling)..
So I couldnt see all of her teeth..so being the genius(again read as INSANELY DUMB) that
I am I started counting by touching the inner ones...
I overlooked a important fact...Dogs are living things!!
It started choking as i reached the inner teeth..
And then the Bitch(it was a female dog) closed its mouth.
A dog which had never bitten anyone in its lifetime bit its master..
Alas...I guess this is irony
(I hope PETA guys dont come after me for this...)

Quoting The Quoted

This is probably the most famous quote to come out from the pen of Alexander Pope.......
(I guess everyone must have heard it..........)

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot;

The world forgetting ,by the world forgot;

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind;

Each prayer accept'd and each wish resign'd;


Well this might sound a wee bit too melodramatic but wouldnt it be nice if you could just erase your bad memories..............

Theory Of Relativity

Theory of relativity. One of the most famous theories ever. (Made more famous because no one could understand it....)
When Einstein was asked to describe it in "English" he said " When you are sitting with a beautiful woman time seems to slow down. Eternity seems like a second.... and when your hand is on a hot stove , a second seems like eternity" I couldnt agree with him more...

This I have come to realize within the past few days...It seems that when I am having fun, time seems to fly...
And when I am alone, thinking time seems to slow down to a crawl. Everything stands still.
It might be a stupid analogy but, it is similar to when you fall in love..You know everything is in slow motion when you are around her.I hope it makes sense to at least one of the freaks out there(No offense meant to those who find it sensible though...).
I mean try to think about the angel of your dreams. You see her running towards you in slow motion...Lke in movies... and imagine the same thing where your angel is replaced by a guy carrying a knife......
See my point?

Chronicles of The Stupid Kind

This not a blog ......more of a lesson to all the curious people out there who wish to unravel the mysteries of nature.........
This was back in the year of 1991...it was a nice morning....sun was shining ...birds were chirping ........dogs were fighting.....you know the routine...
I was roaming around near the frontyard and it was at that moment that curiousity struck.......
Now one has to understand that human mind(specially one belonging to a 5yr old kid) is one of the weirdest things in the world....It can arrive at the stupidest of conclusions and make them look perfectly logical and intelligent.....
Something similar happened to me.....
I was a curious little child..
I saw a buffalo outside...quitely goin about its buisness...
eating grass...and then returing it to nature........
I couldnt take my eyes off it.........
I noticed that it was black(great observation..I know)
Then my eyes fell on a piece of coal lying besides me......
and then I had a bulb moment(You know like the ones in cartoons where a bulb lights above your head)...
So I ...Yash the fearless(read as "insanely dumb") went ahead and tried to feed the buffalo that piece.........with disastrous result..........
Stupid thing stepped on my fingers and shattered them to pieces..........
all the trouble just because I tried to feed it...........

Anyway...I learned a very important lesson that day.......
which i want to pass on to my friends......
STUPIDITY HURTS